1/22/2016 Gratitude Post

January 23, 2016
  • I got out for some shopping. Bought a Nerf gun!  :3  Also a bunch of vegetables and fruit.
  • To balance that out I impulse-lunched some fried chicken from Popeye’s.
  • Played a bunch of D3 by myself! I’ve kind of hit a plateau gear-wise, but I tweaked my build around a bit and got some mileage out of that.
  • I did some chores, dishes and laundry and such. Good job, Eug!
  • I got to play some Rocket League with Sean and Ryan!

1/21/2016 Gratitude Post

January 22, 2016
  • Grateful to Past Eug that I had leftovers to eat today!
  • I was pretty neurotic and dysfunctional today, but in the midst of it I did manage to get up and change the Miata’s wiper blades.  :P
  • I also managed to play some D3 by myself! Switched around my skill build and instantly jumped a couple difficulties. Got some drops and jumped up a couple more. Sean joined me (yay) and towed me through a bunch of runs up to T7ish, and among other things got me a RoRG on our first cache after deciding to farm for it! It took me like 3 or 4 HUNDRED runs of Act I to get my non-seasonal RoRG, so I’m thankful to RNG today!
  • We also played some Rocket League afterwards. The session didn’t go very well for us, but I had fun anyway despite the salt.
  • I had a couple of conversations with good friends that helped me solidify a couple of things that have been bothering me lately.

1/20/2016 Gratitude Post

January 21, 2016
  • I’m thankful that I can EAT again!
  • I got to play some more D3 with Sean.
  • I finally got to eat the leftover half of that delicious fried chicken sandwich from Buffalo, and actually enjoy it this time!
  • I got myself out to do some grocery shopping.
  • I made Cajun seafood boil, and it turned out pretty decently for basically being made up off the top of my head to imitate a restaurant meal!
  • I got to hang out with Matt and do car stuff (mostly watching and assisting).

1/19/2016 Gratitude Post

January 20, 2016

I feel like I’ve hit a bit of a wall with this gratitude thing. For a while writing these was making me feel a bit better in general, but the past few days it hasn’t really been good. Maybe it’s just from being sick limiting some of the things I do. Or maybe it’s that I feel bad about listing mainly video games for the past few days, even though being able to keep the demons down and play games is honestly an accomplishment for me, and I have a lot to be grateful about in regards to that line item.

Anyway, today was not nearly as good as yesterday on the mental functionality front. ADHD in particular was extreme; I think I had an even harder time than usual keeping it in check due to low calorie intake over the past few days. It’s hard to concentrate when you’re starving (to put it dramatically). Hopefully tomorrow I’ll be able to eat!

  • I got to hang out and paint miniatures with friends! Which also meant I got to start making use of the nice paints that Laura and Ryan got me for Christmas.
  • I got to play more Diablo 3 with Sean! Allllmost 70, and then the real fun can begin.

1/18/2016 Gratitude Post

January 19, 2016

Last night was TERRIBLE. Gastroenteritis continues apace. Didn’t eat or drink much today. I’m probably gonna have to tomorrow… I’m scared.

  • I’m still grateful for video games. I played a bunch of Diablo 3 with Sean today–made a seasonal Monk, ran through the campaign, and did bounties and got up to 60. I also played a little bit of SWTOR and got my Sith warrior through Hoth.
  • In the spirit of trying to see the good side of anything, I’m grateful to being sick… because most other activities were automatically off the table, I was mostly able to keep the demons down and play video games. There was definitely still some time in which I gave in and wasn’t functional, but it was fairly limited. That meant I was able to get through the day without feeling too down, especially since I was playing with a friend for much of it.

Hopefully I feel better tomorrow and can eat and drink normally. I’d like to do some writing, and hopefully get out for a walk.

1/17/2016 Gratitude Post

January 17, 2016

I’ve got food poisoning or something, so most of the day was spent being grateful that I wasn’t spewing from one end or the other… except when I was.

  • I’m grateful for video games, and that I was able to buckle down and play them today! I played some Knights of Pen and Paper 2, some SWTOR with Ryan, and a little bit of Rocket League with Ryan and Sean. It helped take my mind off the gastrointestinal distress.
  • I’m grateful I had leftovers to eat today, even though eating them didn’t feel very good. Eating is still better than not eating.
  • I’m grateful that friends invited me out for dinner tonight, even if I couldn’t really enjoy it and couldn’t stick around to play board games afterwards.

Okay, I’m gonna go read in bed and moan for a while, and then try to sleep. Hopefully I don’t get woken up by a horrendous stomachache again!

1/16/2016 Gratitude Post

January 17, 2016
  • Spent the day with good friends, eating, playing video games, and chatting about stuff.
  • I finished The Hydrogen Sonata!

1/15/2016 Gratitude Post

January 16, 2016
  • Made myself a nice brunch of bacon and kimchi scrambled eggs to go with one of the fancy pastries A+J brought me yesterday. I also had a banana.
  • Watched an episode of A Certain Scientific Railgun with lunch.
  • Did a long overdue paperwork thing.
  • Eventually got myself out to go hiking at Fremont Older. It got dark before I got home, but otherwise it was a nice trip out. My new pack and hydration bladder performed admirably. My new hiking boots worked well too; I’ve been worried about the size, since they feel like they slip around on my feet a bit (though they don’t actually feel LOOSE per se… I don’t know how else to explain it). But after a 6.5 mile hike I had no real issues, so that seems to indicate that they’re okay.
  • Went out for dinner with Ryan and Laura to Jack Rose Libation House, a new experiment for all of us. It was louder than I would have liked, in terms of both music and crowd, but otherwise it seems like a great place. Everything was delicious. And I have leftover pizza!
  • Got to play some Rocket League for an hour or so with Sean. We won all but two games!
  • Now I’m going to go read more The Hydrogen Sonata and go to bed.

1/14/2016 Gratitude Post

January 15, 2016

I missed a day. The past couple of days was one of the periods I have every couple of weeks where my Depression and Isolation meters max out (usually with help from Anxiety and ADHD, or more rarely some outside event) and I go into a “this is the end” kind of funk. I decide I’m better off just being completely alone until I die, and withdraw for two or three days before it’s too much for me and I emerge and latch on to the world again. It also generally comes with not eating and just lying in bed most of the time. Last night I spent 16 hours in bed.

  • Ate some of the supplies Past Eug laid in while he was able–specifically canned soup. Thanks, Past Eug!
  • I finished watching the season of Jessica Jones over the past two days. Sometimes–but not always–giving up ironically makes me more functional in certain ways. Sitting and watching 7 or 8 episodes or whatever it was of a TV show just because I feel like it a pretty big deal for me these days. It means overcoming anxiety, ADHD, guilt, and other things and sustaining that for a long period of time. Usually it also means overcoming depression, but in “this is the end” mode that flips around. Sometimes I wish I could channel that flip, but ultimately I don’t think it’s worth it.
  • Alan and Jenny gifted me special donuts when I picked them up from the airport. Breakfast tomorrow, yay~
  • Since my calorie count for the past two days was ridiculously low–while many people are counting calories to make sure they don’t eat too much in a given day, I usually have to count calories to make sure I’m not starving myself and going into the low blood sugar/panic attack zone–I got myself a Hellapeno Burger Munchie Meal from Jack in the Box.
  • There were a couple new episodes of Modern Family available, so I got to watch those while I stuffed my face with fast food.
  • I had chats with a couple friends that–along with seeing Alan and Jenny earlier–brought the Isolation meter down a bit.
  • I went to the gym! I was gonna take a brisk hour-long walk on the treadmill, and start breaking in those new hiking boots while I was at it. That plan was foiled not long into it when the janitors closed down the main cardio machine area for some special deep vacuuming or something. The other cardio machine area only has ellipticals, and I hopped on one for a while, but I hate ellipticals and the motion was making my shoulder and forearm start hurting again so I cut it short. Still got about 20 minutes of cardio in, which is better than nothing.
  • I did a paperwork thing RIGHT AFTER GETTING IT IN THE MAIL! Like not even fifteen minutes of procrastination!

So in addition to gratitude/achievement stuff this is apparently becoming the place where I just kind of ramble about my brain workings (or lack thereof). And that’s okay, right? I mean I know I’m pretty much just talking to myself and the like three people, on average, who read these, but it helps me to put it on figurative paper, so WHATEVER

1/12/2016 Gratitude Post

January 13, 2016

Didn’t have a particularly good day. Getting up really early to do an airport run threw my whole morning and afternoon out of whack. Not to mention that I think go-karting on Saturday really did a number on my right arm, from the hand up through the shoulder. It’s not giving me intense pain or anything, but it made everything–using a mouse, typing, holding a pen, driving, rolling dice, holding a shopping basket, eating, sitting, standing, lying down–painful and tiresome. Hopefully it’ll go away in a day or two. Anyway, yeah… low Energy, moderately high Depression, Anxiety, and ADHD, and extra pain to boot put me in a fairly bad mood. But I’m supposed to be being grateful here, so here we go!

  • Managed to do some light grocery shopping this morning.
  • Had the idea to try and replicate (sort of) the Cajun seafood boil–with all-important corn on the cob–from that one place in SF that I really love. I’ll probably do it in the next couple days.
  • Took advantage of Past Eug’s food prep for both breakfast and lunch.
  • I watched an episode of Jessica Jones over lunch. I’m really liking that show!
  • Got to hang out with Ryan, Ryan, and Peter and play some X-Wing Miniatures. We also had tasty Thai food from the place on De Anza that I always forget about.
  • I’ve been forgetting to include my nightly reading of The Hydrogen Sonata, which is ongoing. It’s continuing to be a great book.

I often feel like I’m forgetting something when I make this list. I’ve been thinking that I should just outline the list over the course of the day, adding items as they happen. Well, whatever… I shouldn’t worry about it too much. No need to get too caught up in figuring out the absolute best way of doing it, right?